End of a journey...maybe?

So I breastfed my son for 20 months, I am still breast feeding my daughter and had intended to until she was at least one. But my spots are so bad at the moment I fear the only way of stopping them will be by going on the pill.

But not the mini one that you can go on whilst breast feeding because that sent me mental last time!

So it means I will have to stop feeding my daughter, but can I bring myself to do this in the name of vanity?!? Or maybe it is in the name of sanity, I think my hormones have gone pretty mental causing me to lose it on occasion and also these hideous and might I add flipping painful cysts on my face.

I have been managing to cover them up with make up but there is only so much I can do without looking like I work on a make up counter.

Anyone who knows me can see something is different as I have gone from wearing very little make up to lots in a matter of weeks!

I can't believe how stupid I sound as I know it could be a lot worse, but for me it is bringing on slight feelings of depression, a feeling of not wanting to go out! When I do I am trying to hide behind my hair :(

I have an appointment at the hairdressers next week and I cannot even bring myself to think how I am going to cope sitting under bright lights in front of a mirror for a few hours!


I have the doctors this afternoon, a lovely doctor who has helped me so much in the last few years, I am hoping she won't tell me there is nothing she can do!

If anyone has suffered with this and has some miracle cure that isn't going to cost me then I would be forever in your debt!

My confidence is waning severely! Help!

Spots Part 2!

There are many other things in life to worry about, I know that but in a world where we are supposed to be 'perfect' it is hard to wake up to a face covered in spots!

Mine in particular are a form of acne called cystic acne, they are huge and soooo painful! They stretch the skin to breaking point and cannot be squashed or touched as they can leave a scar deep under the skin that last for months and in the case of when I was 16 years.

I haven't really suffered the way I have this last month since I was 16, back then I had huge ones on my chin, hormonal spots that were so painful and I was so embarresed by. But when I went on the pill they did get better a little.

Now a certain aunt has returned after the birth of my daughter and my hormones have been woken up from a deep slumber and the cycstic acne has been reborn.

To cover them up is pretty impossible because it is not necessarily the colour you can actually see them under my skin poking out, my gorgeous daughter totally unaware and lashing out at me in her cute wave hits them and they get redder.

Anyway, moaning aside I wanted to share this amazing video I saw and I am hoping next time I go into town to get some of this amazing stuff to cover the few scars I do have.



Hope you'll agree this is pretty amazing and I love the song too, by a guy called Zoo Brazil who is my new favourite electro artist :)