Coffee and Hope

As I walked through Nottingham with my daughter yesterday, it was cold, not just the temperature but no one seemed cheerful, the Christmas lights obviously hadn't had the desired effect and instead I could hear people cursing and being generally rude.

I warmed up with a coffee in a new coffee shop, there me and my daughter sat and drank our drinks, so many people head in a book or computer didn't even look up to acknowledge new patrons.

Sometimes a smile is all it takes to make someones day, as we walked back to the tram we walked through a big high street store and as we came out the other end I saw a young man in a door way.

I don't judge how someone gets to be on the street, we all have our problems and sometimes to run away is all that helps. But it was so cold, so bitter and as I walked passed him I couldn't help but feel the need to help in someway.

I could have chucked a few extra pennies on his sleeping bag, but instead I decided to ask him if he'd like a coffee, after all it had been just what had warmed me up ten minutes before.

He said yes please and we took the 30 second walk up to McDonalds, I bought him a Cappuccino liked he'd asked for and walked back, I wondered if he'd thought maybe I wouldn't come back but when I did I could see a little spark in his eyes.

I handed it to him and he told me "I was a good un', maybe so, maybe I was being selfish and wanted the self gratification of helping someone else. But I always believe that it's the small things that make a difference, just smiling at someone as you walk down the street could make them feel differently about their day.

When I was a new mum and was suffering with terrible PND strangers smiles were the difference between a bad day and a good one. 

Yesterdays gift to a stranger took a few minutes and pounds out of my life, but maybe made someone else's faith in humans be that little bit more restored.

I hope in some way he knows I didn't stop thinking about him most of yesterday, whatever the reason, whatever the habit, we all need hope.

I have a few other plans to help people this Christmas and it definitely won't be the last time I get someone a coffee.

Deep Freeze Cold Patches Review

I was recently sent some Deep Freeze Cold Patches to review, an easy to apply cooling patch great for sprains, strains, aches and pains!

If you suffer with as much pain as I do, then you'll know how important cold can be to soothe muscles and this is a great product for on the go, home or at work.

The patches come in individual packets so are easy to pop into a bag to keep with you and the flexible patch allows it to be placed in most areas around the body.

For me, my main areas of complaint are the neck and shoulders. These patches are the perfect size to suit these areas, allowing flexibility to fit over my neck and move with me, they are also particularly good for when lying down as there is nothing bulky like with normal ice packs that would dig into my neck.

These patches offer a great alternative to reaching for paracetamol or ibuprofen which sometimes it isn't possible to take, for example during pregnancy for aches and pains or even swollen feet. I suffered terribly with my neck during pregnancy and could only take paracetamol, something like this would have been perfect.

The cooling effect of the patch itself is difficult to describe but there is a menthol smell to the patch (the patch contains menthol, aloe vera and water in the hydrogel layer) and the only way I can describe it is like eating a really strong mint and then breathing in and getting that cooling effect on the back of your nose and throat.

The patches have an RRP of £1.55 for a single patch and £5.10 for a pack of four patches and can be found in Boots.

NB. I was sent four patches for review, all thoughts and opinions are my own.

What My Sight Means To Me

Growing up my brother had many trips in and out of hospital, he had a severe lazy eye and at about 4 years old he had to go into hospital for a procedure to correct his eye muscles and to stop it being lazy.

I remember this vividly, but what if we didn't live in this country? Would he have been left with poor sight in one eye?

Having needed glasses since the age of 11 for reading and using a computer I've become only too aware of what it's like to have a problem with your eyes. I am one of the lucky ones really, only needing them for a few activities.

As a mum I cannot imagine what it would be like to be blind or partially sighted, not to be able see your children or the pictures they draw, their wedding day or any number of the other special moments in their lives.

Devastating is an understatement and for your child to face this would be even worse, for them never to see the beauty of the world, pictures in a book, it is truly unimaginable.

So this week Becky over at Baby Budgeting has been raising awareness for Sightsavers a charity that helps provide sight saving treatments and care across the globe to people who might otherwise end up blind.

It's difficult to put their work into words so I have linked to the Sightsavers video which shows some of what they do, if you have a few minutes to share it or a few pounds to donate it could be the difference between someone seeing the world around them or being blind for the rest of their lives.

For as little as £4 you can pay for cataract operation to give a child their sight back, thats pretty amazing don't you think.

Depression, a family affair!

So I woudn't normally write two blog posts in a day, afterall i'm a busy lady right, but I really needed to get this out of my head and into words, I am sorry if it goes on and if you manage to read all of it thank you.

I have suffered with depression for many years, probably since I was about 11, the exact moment was when I went to secondary school. I was put into a form with none of my friends, I was lonely and a target for the class bullies.

I started not eating and when I did eat I ate very little, then at about 13 I found that cutting myself gave me a sense of joy. From the outside it all sounds very silly and if you haven't ever done it you really cannot understand the feeling you get from seeing your wrists cut and the pain from cutting them.

I remember once finding a bit of long grass stuff that was quite sharp and I whipped it joyfully across my arms till they were covered in little two or three inch cuts, so many that people noticed and I had to be more careful but it was a great feeling at the time.

Anyway to cut a long story short, I spent the rest of my teenage years cutting and scratching myself in times of upset (which sadly there were a lot of).

At about 15 I fell 'in love' and had a steady boyfriend but towards the end of relationship when we grew apart and he started going out with other women behind my back I started hitting myself in the head. Don't ask why but I would just hit myself in the head, maybe hoping I would kill myself I don't really know!

I did this up until I found the miracle contraceptive pill that changed me, I became chilled and pretty much anger free until after I had my son.

I was diagnosed with post natal depression about four months after my son was born, after a traumatic birth and a very ill husband I had pretty much had enough and would think about how I would end it all (apparently the way in which I would do it is normally a man's way out, thanks I think) . However, I knew my son needed me and I decided to get help and was put on anti-depressants and saw a community support nurse every other week.

So why all the sudden am I thinking about this, well I went to see my mum today and she said she thinks she's depressed. This makes me so sad, so sad I am sat here with tears streaming down my face, I love her and know how it feels to be stuck in the despair of depression and I don't want her to feel this way.

My dad also suffers with depression (which I found out shortly after I had been put on antidepressants after having my son), yet he doesn't seem to have noticed she seems down and this makes me so flipping sad.

I had my husband to confide in and although he really didn't seem to understand at least I could cry at him and get all the crap filling my head out into the open.

Gosh I hate this illness, I mean I really hate it! The mind is such a complicated thing and I really hope my children don't suffer from it, my grandpa on my dads side was 'commited' but whether it is nature or nurture I have no idea.

All I can do is be there for my children and help them if they need me, sadly my parents although lovely and I'd do anything for them, they literally had no idea how to help me through depression. I once stood in the kitchen so angry at being bullied that I grabbed a knife and held it to my wrist in in a fit of anger. My dad said 'go on then do it' , this takes tough love to the extreme and I hope he can be more use to my mum and I to my children.

Thanks if you made it this far, I just needed somewhere to vent this.